Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) is a research proven model of therapy specifically designed for work with romantic partners. EFT is grounded in attachment theory and works through the understanding that healthy relationships are built on the strength of the emotional bond between partners. With a strong emotional bond, each person finds safety and security with their partner, or a "secure attachment," allowing them to build trust in the relationship and work through all types of conflicts and issues. With a securely attached partner, a person can find true freedom of expression, health and vitality, and their most authentic self.
Fighting for your relationship...
When couples struggle in their relationship, it is usually not about the content of the issues they fight about. Rather, issues rise from core questions people ask about their relationship and their partners. Do I matter to my partner? Will he or she be there for me when I need him or her the most? Am I a disappointment to her or him? The fears about these questions can grow along with the fears to seek contact, care and comfort from partners in moments of vulnerability, leading to feelings of isolation, loneliness, or even sadness and despair as if we were fighting to survive.
It is here that partners can find themselves stuck in repetitive cycles of interaction, pursuing and withdrawing, fighting and avoiding, criticizing and shutting down. The more these interactions persist, the more partners can feel hopeless about achieving care, contact or comfort from each other... and feeling hopeless about the future of their relationship all together.
The Success of EFT
With Emotionally Focused Therapy you can:
Rebuild safety and trust
Receive more caring and respect
Resolve conflicts with love
EFT gets right to the heart of the problems that keep relationships from being deeply satisfying. It is designed to stop the negative and stuck patterns in marriages and other primary relationships, transforming them into the loving, caring connection and understanding you desire. It addresses communication blockages and helps you to be really heard, and in a way that brings the one you love closer to you
Research Proven, Solid Training
An extensive body of research conducted over 20 years ago and published in leading journals, shows that EFT works very well, that treatment results last, and that ICEEFT-approved training gives EFT therapists the skills to heal hurting relationships. Further, the results of rigorous studies show that the positive effects from EFT are larger than any other couple intervention has achieved to date.
EFT has proven to be successful in helping many types of couples dealing with relationship conflict. In addition to decreasing relationship distress, EFT has also been effective in helping couples and families suffering with issues like depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and chronic illness. EFT addresses the heart of the matter in relationships and helps couples and family members create more connected and secure relationships.
How it Works
EFT has three stages and nine steps that a therapist will guide you through. As your therapist, I do not profess to be the expert on your relationship: You are! I will help you walk through your relationship in a place of safety where you can discover the healing interactions you need. I will help you understand the heart of the matter, how you can achieve those healing moments, and why they work in re-building safety and security in the relationship. In other words, I will help you strengthen your own emotional bonds that will change how you relate to each other.
In the first stage, we will assess the situation together, explore what is happening, and how you get stuck. We will open the rigid cycles of interaction and understand together how they work.
In the second stage, with more understanding and confidence about what is happening, we will go deeper into those vulnerable moments to find contact, care and comfort from each other, resulting in the healing and strengthening of your bond with each other.
In the third stage, we will return to the places you got stuck with new eyes and an understanding of how to forgive and repair issues. We will write a new story in your relationship that empowers you to grow closer to each other, consolidating the change in your relationship... and keep you from needing to come back!
In the process of therapy, at any point, you can always ask where we are and where we are going.
We will always have direction.
“Love has an immense ability to help heal the devastating wounds that life sometimes deals us. Love also enhances our sense of connection to the larger world. Loving responsiveness is the foundation of a truly compassionate, civilized society.”